Monday, September 27, 2010

A True friend is one with whom you can share silences as comfortably as conversations.

On Saturday I mentioned just sitting with my grandpa, quietly.
It took me a long time to understand that that is okay. It seems we always want to fill up the silent places and they make us uncomfortable.
Grandfather was not adverse to conversation, but he wasn't adverse to quietness or silence. He was also a pretty good jokester in a quiet way which sounds like an oxy-moron.
I could tell him anything. Not like there was much going on in my young small life, but you know how it is....EVERYTHING is humongously important.
My grandfather died on my 21st birthday so I didn't get to ask all the questions I needed to ask him, have all the important discussions, or have pie and coffee with him as often as I would like.
PIE and COFFEE. It was something he did like to do pretty much daily if I remember correctly. His pie and coffee outings were usually with adults like my mom and step dad,  my grandmother, or other friends, but once in awhile, it was a treat and it was just him and me.
So if you haven't guessed yet, I pretty much thought my grandpa was the best and he was. Not perfect. I'm not naive enough to think or believe that to be true, but he was the best grandpa, and I think, a true friend.
What I did come to learn as I grew up is that your true friends are the ones you can sit silently with. You don't feel nervous or uncomfortable and you won't feel compelled to fill the silent spaces. Your best friend can be anyone. A grandparent, a parent, a sibling, a friend of choice, or your spouse. And since the universe doesn't have limits, you can have more than one at a time.
One of the questions I wish my grandpa could answer for me is come we spit all those watermelon seeds on the ground under the peach tree and no watermelons ever grew there????? Oh yeah, what about the cherry pits?

1 comment:

  1. Very sweet. It makes me think of my Gramps. My fav about him was the table talks, cookies and stories. I miss him like crazy....thanks for sharing!