Wednesday, November 3, 2010

30 days of Gratitude and other musings

I have a lot going on right now and I'm uncertain where to begin so here goes. I apologize in advance if it sounds disjointed.

Almost every morning I log into Face book.Yes, it's true, I took that leap also. I mostly go there to post a thought for the day, but because I love this time of year so much and my sentimental self rears up hard during Thanksgiving, I decided to have 30 days of gratitude and post a quote everyday hoping to promote that idea. If not to others, then at least to remind myself. And I do need reminding. It is easy to get sucked up into the everyday stuff and forget to be grateful for all that we have.
 I was talking to a friend last week while having coffee and bagels. I was telling her about camping in Mexico with a previous husband. I told her the story of watching a young girls head come up from underground as she came over to ask us for a sopa which I think is a sweater. All I really think about now and again is the fact she lived underground. What that means to me is the following: no multiple rooms, no bedroom with a comfy bed. No kitchen with a refrigerator. No sofa to sit on while watching TV. No bathroom with a toilet, a bathtub, and running water. No hot water heater like that which I am thankful for everyday when I shower. No stove to cook a good meal on. I am not sure what they did have down there, but I am pretty certain it wasn't much. And definitely no nearby grocery store to trot on over to to get some food.
Just listing that stuff makes you want to feel extreme gratitude. We have a lot here in America. I know we have poor folks and street people, but not many people live that way. I don't think there was a nearby food bank either.

So this week, we have elections going on and I am heartily sick of all the negative adds and the junk mail galore. I want to ask this of every politician in existence as well as the general you not get that no one is perfect and everyone can make bad choices including yourselves??? Oh my gosh! Get real and get back on track with what our country is really all about. I would like to know if any of the politicians have bothered to read the constitution? If they have then how could they possible think it is okay to have lobbyists or place earmarks in any bill? On second thought, maybe I better not get myself started, but the bottom line is this: we are all responsible for this country and what we stand for. No matter who we elect they may take a step in the wrong direction. That doesn't make them bad people. It makes them human like all of us....I know, some of you think they might truly be aliens, but they're not. I look at a ten dollar bill and I see the words "We the people". To me, that is pretty powerful. Let's quit pointing fingers and placing blame and get back to
"We the people".

To continue on with what else is going on in my week, I was informed that my previous husband who was a wonderful person and friend was really ill and possibly dying. I get the oxy-moron here of previous husband but wonderful person and friend. Things are not always what they seem and they are not always simple. This person has suffered from Parkinson's for at least 10 years now. He choose to get divorced and move back to the small town he grew up in 5 years ago. I didn't want this, but I found out that I couldn't stop it from happening. I cannot in my wildest imagination figure out why someone would up and choose to move off from all that he knows to live by himself and suffer alone. Our destinies are our own and no one can live them for us. I just can't for the life of me understand what his destiny was/is.
What I do know is this: I had a great life while I was married to him and I was happy. He loved me and gave me the space to be who I wanted to be without judgement. He actually handed me a great gift by leaving. Some of it was selfless and I think a tad selfish, but a gift none the less.
If this is your time to leave us old friend, may you walk in peace surrounded by loved ones who have gone before you. Thank you for loving me and being my friend. Forgive me if I let you down in any way.

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